The Ambitious Loser

Ambition is something that is instilled in everyone the minute they are born. You are ambitious as a child because the second you are able you want to explore. You want to crawl, then walk, and then run. It just goes on, and on. Then one day, for many people, that ambition is gone. It is as if somewhere along the line the ambition that you once had, that drive that was in you, just slowly dissipates, and you're just left standing there with nothing. You're left there with your boring dead-end job, and your dull, routine life.
As I grew older I began to wonder why I no longer felt the need to follow my dreams. When I was a teen I had all of these big dreams and goals. I wanted to be a movie star, an international pop sensation, a best-selling author among many other things. But as I got older I guess reality hit me a little too hard, and I pushed my seemingly outlandish dreams to the back of the closet like most adults do.

I must have had lost it because nothing had seemed to go my way up until this point in my life. I gave up too early, and too easily. I gave up on my dreams just because I realized that if I actually wanted to accomplish something, I would have to... work for it. I guess that hard work and dedication thing really scared me. It terrified me, and made me believe that it wasn't worth it. It made me believe that I wasn't worth it. No one ever told me that life would be easy, but I guess I never fully grasped that whole concept.

Right now at this very moment in my life, for some reason I feel very ambitious again. I don't know if this is just how things were meant to happen or if it is because I have no other options right now. I was almost very content with the boring, routine life I was building for myself. Working a steady 9-5. Being paid a little above minimum wage and just barely getting by. Then it happened. Everything was taken away from me. I lost my job and I got really sick at the same time. No income and ridiculously expensive medical bills is never a good mixture. I fell into such a depressed state that I contemplated not living anymore. The feeling of helplessness really tends to eat away at you.

The bills were continuously piling up. The money was very quickly running low. The mouths were getting hungrier and things just kept getting worse. Then I remembered that I once had a dream. A dream like no other. I once dreamt of myself being exactly who I was meant to be. I dreamt of myself being happy and smiling all of the time. I dreamt of myself living the life that only existed in dreams... or so I thought.

For some reason I got this crazy idea in my head that maybe I wasn't so crazy. Maybe... just maybe my dreams could become reality. I mean nothing was stopping me from doing what makes me happy except for me. I couldn't use my job as an excuse for being too busy anymore because I no longer had a job. I couldn't use my lack of creativity or intelligence as an excuse anymore because for months I was coming up with the most insanely brilliant ways to make ends meet. Then I did it. I just let go and I did it. I stopped doubting myself and I did it.

I had to realize that the worst thing that could happen is that no one else in this world would care. To me that wasn't all that bad of a deal. I could still do what it was that I loved and I shouldn't care what anyone else would think about it right? If no one else cared that only meant that I couldn't profit off of my passions as I had hoped, but the simple fact that I was doing what I wanted is what really gave me my life back.

There is something about creating your own happiness that helps you to create a better life for yourself. When I began living out my dreams I became a happier person and good things began to follow. I was a happier, more confident person and that translated in interviews which made it easier to get a job again. I was a happier person which made it easier for others to be around me specifically those of a romantic sorts.
Life throws you a lot of curve balls. You have to still swing even if you keep on missing. If everyone just gave up on there dreams the second they failed no one in this world would ever get anything done. You have to have ambition or else you will never achieve anything. Its very rare for your wildest dream to just fall into your lap. If you really want something you have to go for it. I say "The Ambitious Loser" because sometimes you don't always succeed right away. Things don't always automatically just work out in your favor. You cant give up when it doesn't work out though. Honestly you can hear a thousand "No's" in a lifetime, but if you give up you are never going to get to hear that sweet, angelic sound of a "Yes." Finally accomplishing something that you have worked so hard for is the greatest feeling you could ever imagine. It's better than how sweets taste, better than the last slice of pizza, better than fashion store sales.
So I start here today, creating my own brand for the world to see and share with me. I know that there are so many other ambitious losers out there. Whether you are still trying to find your motivation again or you are working hard to make your dreams come true, just know that you are not alone. There are many of us out there and many of us willing to help. I want to help any and everyone out as much as possible. I want to see everyone succeed. I will do anything from promoting your business, helping you study, or even cheering you on as you embark on your journey. I don't ask for any similar favors in return all that I ask is that you make a promise to yourself that from this day forward you will do everything possible to follow what is truly in your heart. Don't ever let another discourage you. Don't ever let life's struggles cripple you. We were all meant for something. We are all here for a reason and I just believe that everyone should have the opportunity to show the world that reason. Embrace that you are a loser. You are supposed to lose. If you don't lose things such as doubts, fears and negativity how will you ever have room to grow.

The Art of Procrastination

Many people have joined in on the very underrated art of procrastination and have thus become much more awesome than those who constantly choose to get things done in a timely manner and avoid stressful last minute situations that us procrastinators thrive on lolololol hi haters...

A lot of people are skeptical of the whole "wait until the very last minute to do any and everything including the most important things that you should really probably get done right away but you can't right now because your favorite television show is having a marathon and you cant possibly tear yourself away from the fresh package of cookies you just got from the store" ...but it has become quite the lifestyle. I mean really what is the point of getting things done right away when you can wait and still EVENTUALLY get things done. Really what's the rush... keep rushing through life like that you're sure to miss out on all the best parts...

I mean which do you prefer getting everything done as soon as you get it then spending ALLLLL the rest of your free time living your life ORRRRR...... getting nothing done, sitting around enjoying your pathetic nothingness then having to stay up until ungodly hours cramming trying to accomplish something that could have been done many moons ago. I don't know about you guys but I definitely prefer the latter. Like God I truly just l-a-hah-ove not getting sleep when I need it most. I rather enjoy pulling random bits of stupidity out of my ass and putting into a project, and ERMAHRGERD do I just LOOOVVEEEEE the 'just barely made it' average rewards earned after finally finishing something that would have taken much less time to complete if I had only done it earlier.

You see my good people I not unlike most of the human race, suffer from what many may consider lazpidity-assiness. No seriously it's a real thing look it up don't worry i'll wait.......................................................................................................................................................
Oh great you actually looked that up you must be one of us too, hey there it'll be okay. The disease is sort of a mixture of other common illnesses that plague a far too significant number of beings on this forsaken planet. Stupidity, laziness and just plain old dumbass. We are those sad individuals who would otherwise not have even the slightest bit of what one would consider a "social life" but somehow always find something new and exciting to entertain us when there is actual work to be done. Our lives suddenly become this overwhelmingly "busy" rollercoaster of doing other things we have held off doing due to our chronic procrastination.

Honestly I don't understand it. I don't know what causes it other than the classic " Ugh I don't feel like it right now, i'll do it later" and lets not forget the "Well I would, but I really should finish this Pinterest DIY craft I started a year ago".  I mean I understand that it is very easy to get distracted by that amazingly persuasive bottle of wine, but I don't understand why we don't realize what priorities are. Why would you constantly put yourself in stressful situations that you know are going to haunt you until your next project comes along.

I guess I am just here to say... Hello my name is Ronni and I am addicted to not getting my shit done in a timely manner and RUINING MY ENTIRE LIFE...... Seriously though I was just sitting around procrastinating. I was even procrastinating about procrastinating when I realized that that was my issue. Up until this point I always wondered why things were never in my favor. I always got things done but I constantly turned in the bare-minimum because I would scrounge at the last minute just to hurry up and get it done and out of the way. As I reflected on my life I looked around and saw that if people only saw my average work and my average abilities they were only going to think of me as nothing more than average. I was doing nothing to stand out. I obviously knew what I was capable of. I knew the things that I could accomplish, but no one else did because I hadn't showed them anything of me. Up until that point of realization I had understood why I was not at all where I wanted to be in life, and I decided that I needed to make serious adjustments to my life if I was going to be what I was intended to be. So here are a few things I am applying to my life to cure myself of this crippling disease of procrastination:

1. The first step is admitting that you have a problem. Denial is not just a river in Kansas.... or something like that

2. Time Management: It's never okay to be all work & no play, but you have to realize when it is time to buckle up and get down to business. Most good things in life don't come easy you have to work for them so sometimes you have to do just that WORK.

3. Just do it and when you don't feel like it do it anyways. Oh you have something else going on right now, yeah f*cking right just do work son. You have nothing else going on in your pathetic little life so do what is important now so you can one day actually have that wonderfully, lavish life that you pretend to have on social networks and what have you. Just do it, like Nike just do it. I cannot stress that enough JUST DO IT... (ok maybe I stressed it) but basically what I am saying is just do it. It cannot hurt to do it right now nothing is worse than stressing. Stressing makes you ugly look it up 4 out 5 doctors agree. If you truly want the most out of your life do it. If you want the world to see that beauty that is you, do what you have to do because nothing is more beautiful than a person with passion and loyalty. Just do it!!

Embrace Yourself

The majority of my life I have done nothing but waste my precious time trying to be everything that I was never meant to be. I spent countless nights trying to look like all of the other girls and crying because I didn't. I hated everything about myself. I hated my height, body size, face just everything. Looking back I now realize that I was completely insane to want to change what God already put his paintbrush on.
Why do we always want to fit in when we were born to stand out. Its amazing how great life can be when you stop caring about what everyone else thinks and just start doing what makes you happiest. You were born that way for a reason it's up to you to carry out your life's plan. No one else can get you to where you should be in life. No one can make you into the person you were born to be but you. But how can you get there if you're following someone else's journey into becoming who THEY are supposed to be? You have to just understand that everything is a certain way for a reason. You will grow to love everything about yourself. If you don't love yourself then who will?

...and if the cliché "love yourself" inspiration above does not make you feel even the slightest bit better then try this:

1. Take care of yourself: If you are not happy with something then most of the time you can change it. Not happy with your hair get a new style. Not happy with your size make healthier choices or just make the best you out of what you already have.


2. Think Positive: Most of the time it is only in your head that you are not beautiful. There is no such thing as ugly. Tell yourself every day that you are beautiful, kind, and important. Continue on feeding yourself with positivity until you can't even stomach the negative thoughts any longer.

3. Smile: Even if you feel as if you have nothing in the world to smile about just do it. There are so many worse problems that people deal with every single day, maybe even much worse than yours. Be grateful for what you do have and smile. It will
not only will make you feel better, but it will make those around you better. Smiling is contagious and very therapeutic.

4. Most importantly do what makes YOU happy. You can't live your life for anyone else but yourself. So do the things that you want to do. Dress how you want to dress and eat how you want to eat. You only have this one life to live why waste it trying to get the approval of others. You were born free you don't need the approval of anyone else in this world to be happy!!

... also remember that there are billions of other people out there that feel exactly how you do. We are the ones who are lucky enough to understand the true meaning and value of life. We know how to make our own happiness and live our own lives the way we want so here's to us!!.....

No Strings Attached

"In the Beginning I just wanted you to fuck me, but then I got greedy and I wanted you love me..."

As a college student I see it every single day. That whole "Friends with Benefit" type of relationship thing. It is becoming more and more prominent now days. More people are trying a fun, hassle-free emotionless relationship. However it surely cannot last forever. Maybe that's just an opinion, but from what I have seen and experienced myself (unfortunately), is that someone always catches more feelings than they ever intended.

                           "We said no strings attached and I still got tied up in that..."

Many fwb relationships begin as friendships which is something I just don't advise unless you BOTH are capable of keeping your social & physical relations separate. I don't think that two good friends should ever enter into a strictly sexual relationship it just screws things up in my opinion. One may be more committed to the arrangement than the other. One may be opening up a heart of feelings that it never intended to coddle. Whatever happens though it will never last and if it does last, at least until you both get into good-standing relationships, there will always be this awkwardness between you. There will always be some type of feelings even if they are never acted upon they will still always be there. It is impossible to be just friends with someone you shared your most vulnerable & naked moments with.

It is the belief that it is always the woman that catches the feelings which leads to the demise of the sexual relationship, but that is not always accurate. It is probably more common that the woman is the first to catch feelings, especially since women are emotional beings, but men can catch feelings just as much, and just as easily. One time a "friend" of mine was in a fwb situation and it was her partner who was the one that caught feelings first. Even though he tried to hide it, it eventually all came out. She was the one who had the upper-hand now and she could have just continued to play with his feelings but instead she ended the relationship in order to salvage their friendship.

Maybe it is because sex is something that makes two into one for that time being or maybe the sex was just too BOMB to not want it to be yours forever. Whatever the reason sex is too much of a personal and temporarily binding union to not instigate heartfelt feelings. With that being said there are rules to having a successful "No-Strings-Attached" arrangement.

1. Pick the right partner: It should be someone who is NOT apart of your outside social life. It should never be someone that it would hurt you to lose. The relationship is a fling so you should be able to cut it off just as easily as you picked it up.
2. You have to make sure that you & your partner realize that the relationship is NOT a monogamous one. There is always a possibility of someone catching feelings, but for the time being you two are just casual sex partners. Feel free to talk to other people all you want because you are not committed. Which also means that neither of you can get jealous if the other dates because you two are NOT a couple.
3. Cuddling is not advised: If you two can handle it then by all means, but in this situation it really isn't necessary to share in something as intimate and emotionally bonding as cuddling. Do the deed then feel free to leave.
4. The relationship should remain in the bedroom (or where ever you like to get nasty no judgment): You should NEVER go out together. This is a sexual relationship so why waste time, money or feelings on dates.
5. Protect yourself: This applies in all sexual relations. Your sex buddy may not only be "friendly" with just you so protection is a must.
6. Social networks: Keep your business between just the two of you. There is no need to follow or friend your sex buddy on any social network.
7.Know that eventually it has to end. A relationship like this can't last forever. It is up to both parties to read the signs and realize when the arrangement needs to expire.

 

Finally, in the end, a purely sexual relationship can be an amazing thing just as long as you know what you are getting yourself into...